san marcos

Relationship Yoga

The more I live my life tuning to dharma and seeing it becoming more dharmic, certain words come through really strongly, like the words balance and patience. I see myself going through life in which phenomena appear and some captivate me immensely. And my awareness goes into a thought relationship with that particular phenomena. At that moment, I lose some balance. I lose the spacious ground in which that phenomena exists. And then sometimes I keep letting go of thoughts, letting go of thoughts, over and over, until there is just awareness. Resting in that awareness, you lose the world. I’ve mentioned in previous posts about fire, more specifically which fires purify and which fires burn. At different moments one fire that would burn at one moment later will purify. Mainly dependent on how ego involved or how invested you are in a particular phenomena as it arises.

I experience my life as a dance of balancing, of cultivating the qualities of spaciousness or equanimity, of peace, of happiness, but I notice that there were certain stages in my development, and they are still going on, where I haven’t yet fully re-entered into the passions of life, because I’m afraid of them. Because I’m afraid they will captivate my consciousness and take me away from my balanced mind. And I realize you shouldn’t be afraid of anything, but I am afraid. What I see myself doing is getting closer and closer to the edge of my fear. Of coming back into some passionate joy about something in the world, something I would have been afraid to do for fear of losing my quiet spaciousness. And realizing that now my quiet spaciousness is still present. That it’s still empty, clear and quiet.

I’m in the fortunate position where I get to practice my balance several times a day when I meet with my clients face-to-face. Many of my client’s are prepared for the session, they spend a great deal of time thinking what they will say, and they get it down to the kernel of the essence of the drama, the pain, the confusion. And they hand me the kernel, with all of its juice. And its our kernel, it’s our juice, it’s our stuff. And its my stuff as well as their stuff. I mean it’s just us kids here.

I watch because my job in that position, and my job in life, but that position demands it, is that I keep that balance perfectly. At that moment, if I don’t open my heart to the fullness of what that individual’s pain or essence problem is, what they experience, is that I’m not hearing them. That I don’t understand, that they are alone inside their predicament, because I kept separate, I didn’t allow my empathy, the passions that my empathy would engage, I didn’t allow it to occur. So I open myself and sometimes my heart breaks, because a person’s predicament is a heart breaker. But then the other part of me is constantly coming back into “sky.” Into that just awareness, just that presence that looks at the emotional states, works with them, doesn’t push them doesn’t pull them, doesn’t grab them. And that part of me becomes a mirror for the other person, for them to see the way in which they are caught.

In other words, the two bits of information that my presence there is offering, is one the empathy, we are all in this together. And the other is, but we don’t need to be caught, this is two bits of information. I realize now more and more, that what we offer each other as human beings, we offer each other an environment. That exercise is keeping me in the environment of that balance, so that I’m an environment where if that other person wants to come out and play from the pain and suffering… Here I am. And if they are in the pain and suffering… Here I am. But there is nothing in me that’s keeping them stuck in the pain and suffering and there’s nothing in me demanding they come out.

Wes Pinkston,

Encinitas Life/Business Coach ❤️

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If you’d like to get started working with me One-on-One click here to schedule a free Life-Coaching Consultation. If you are in the San Diego area, mainly EncinitasCarlsbadDel MarLa Jolla and Solana Beach we can meet in person. For those of you out of state I provide Life Coaching over the phone and via skype. My plans are flexible and more information will be provided during our free consultation.


Are you ready for your Transformation? Click below to schedule your free consultation with Wes


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Alan Watts: The Story of the Chinese Farmer

In a talk about Taoism called Swimming Headless, Alan Watts shared with his audience the parable of the Chinese farmer which beautifully expresses the Yin-Yang of Fortune and Misfortune.

The whole process of nature is an integrated process of immense complexity, and it’s really impossible to tell whether anything that happens in it is good or bad — because you never know what will be the consequence of the misfortune; or, you never know what will be the consequences of good fortune.
— Alan Watts

Once upon a time there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away. That evening, all of his neighbors came around to commiserate. They said, “We are so sorry to hear your horse has run away. This is most unfortunate.” The farmer said, “Maybe.”

The next day the horse came back bringing seven wild horses with it, and in the evening everybody came back and said, “Oh, isn’t that lucky. What a great turn of events. You now have eight horses!” The farmer again said, “Maybe.”

The following day his son tried to break one of the horses, and while riding it, he was thrown and broke his leg. The neighbors then said, “Oh dear, that’s too bad,” and the farmer responded, “Maybe.”

The next day the conscription officers came around to conscript people into the army, and they rejected his son because he had a broken leg. Again all the neighbors came around and said, “Isn’t that great!” Again, he said, “Maybe.”

The farmer steadfastly refrained from thinking of things in terms of gain or loss, advantage or disadvantage, because one never knows… In fact we never really know whether an event is fortune or misfortune, we only know our ever-changing reactions to ever-changing events.

Wes Pinkston,

Encinitas Life/Business Coach ❤️

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If you’d like to get started working with me One-on-One click here to schedule a free Life-Coaching Consultation. If you are in the San Diego area, mainly EncinitasCarlsbadDel MarLa Jolla and Solana Beach we can meet in person. For those of you out of state I provide Life Coaching over the phone and via skype. My plans are flexible and more information will be provided during our free consultation.


Are you ready for your Transformation? Click below to schedule your free consultation with Wes


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Wes Pinkston's Must Read Book List

One of the most common questions I get is, "What books do you recommend?" 

Well, here you go!

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1. The Book

On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are

by Alan Watts

In The Book, Alan Watts provides us with a much-needed answer to the problem of personal identity, distilling and adapting the Hindu philosophy of Vedanta.

At the root of human conflict is our fundamental misunderstanding of who we are. The illusion that we are isolated beings, unconnected to the rest of the universe, has led us to view the “outside” world with hostility, and has fueled our misuse of technology and our violent and hostile subjugation of the natural world. To help us understand that the self is in fact the root and ground of the universe, Watts has crafted a revelatory primer on what it means to be human—and a mind-opening manual of initiation into the central mystery of existence.


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2. Prometheus Rising

by Robert Anton Wilson

Prometheus Rising describes the landscape of human evolution and offers the reader an opportunity to become a conscious participant. In an astoundingly useful road map infused with humor and startling insight, Robert Anton Wilson presents the Eight Circuits of the Brain model as an essential guide for the effort to break free of imprinted and programmed behavior, Bob writes, "We are all giants, raised by pygmies, who have learned to walk with a perpetual mental crouch. Unleashing our full stature–our total brain power–is what this book is all about.”


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3. How Can I Help?

by Ram Dass

Not a day goes by without our being called upon to help one another--at home, at work, on the street, on the phone. . . . We do what we can. Yet so much comes up to complicate this natural response: "Will I have what it takes?" "How much is enough?" "How can I deal with suffering?" "And what really helps, anyway?"

In this practical helper's companion, the authors explore a path through these confusions, and provide support and inspiration fo us in our efforts as members of the helping professions, as volunteers, as community activists, or simply as friends and family trying to meet each other's needs. Here too are deeply moving personal accounts: A housewife brings zoo animals to lift the spirits of nursing home residents; a nun tends the wounded on the first night of the Nicaraguan revolution; a police officer talks a desperate father out of leaping from a roof with his child; a nurse allows an infant to spend its last moments of life in her arms rather than on a hospital machine. From many such stories and the authors' reflections, we can find strength, clarity, and wisdom for those times when we are called on to care for one another. How Can I Help? reminds us just how much we have to give and how doing so can lead to some of the most joyous moments of our lives.


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4. Quantum Psychology

by Robert Anton Wilson

Quantum Psychology offers a coherent and humorous description of how our thoughts, values and behaviors have been colored by our use of language and our prevailing view of the universe. While Quantum Mechanics, relativity, non-Euclidean geometries, non-Aristotelian logic and General Semantics have revolutionized our view of the world, the habits of daily human thought still sit deeply rooted in the thought patterns and linguistic conventions of the middle ages. Through an introduction to E-Prime (English without use of the verb “to be”), the Eight Circuits of the Brain Model, and the labyrinth of Quantum Mechanic’s various views of reality, Quantum Psychology can help your brain improve your perception of yourself and the world.


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5. Freedom from the Known

Krishnamurti shows how people can free themselves radically and immediately from the tyranny of the expected, no matter what their age-opening the door to transforming society and their relationships.


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6. The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching

Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberation

by Thich Nhat Hanh

In The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching, now revised with added material and new insights, Nhat Hanh introduces us to the core teachings of Buddhism and shows us that the Buddha’s teachings are accessible and applicable to our daily lives. 

Covering such significant teachings as the Four Noble Truths, the Noble Eightfold Path, the Three Doors of Liberation, the Three Dharma Seals, and the Seven Factors of Awakening, The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching is a radiant beacon on Buddhist thought for the initiated and uninitiated alike.


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7. Realizing Genjokoan: The Key to Dogen's Shobogenzo

by Shohaku Okumura

Dogen, the thirteenth-century Zen master who founded the Japanese Soto school of Zen, is renowned as one the world's most remarkable religious geniuses. His works are both richly poetic and deeply insightful and philosophical, pointing to the endless depths of Zen exploration. And almost precisely because of these facts, Dogen is often difficult for readers to understand and fully appreciate.

Realizing Genjokoan is a comprehensive introduction to the teachings and approach of this great thinker, taking us on a thorough guided tour of the most important essay-Genjokoan-in Dogen's seminal work, the Shobogenzo. Indeed, the Genjokoan is regarded as the pinnacle of Dogen's writings, encompassing and encapsulating the essence of all the rest of his work.

Our tour guide for this journey is Shohaku Okumura, a prominent teacher in his own right, who has dedicated his life to translating and teaching Dogen.


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8. Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind

by Shunryu Suzuki

"In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert's there are few." 

So begins this most beloved of all American Zen books.  Seldom has such a small handful of words provided a teaching as rich as has this famous opening line.  In a single stroke, the simple sentence cuts through the pervasive tendency students have of getting so close to Zen as to completely miss what it's all about.  An instant teaching on the first page.  And that's just the beginning. 

In the forty years since its original publication, Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind has become one of the great modern spiritual classics, much beloved, much reread, and much recommended as the best first book to read on Zen. Suzuki Roshi presents the basics—from the details of posture and breathing in zazen to the perception of nonduality—in a way that is not only remarkably clear, but that also resonates with the joy of insight from the first to the last page.


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9. The Origins and History of Consciousness

by Erich Neumann

The Origins and History of Consciousness draws on a full range of world mythology to show how individual consciousness undergoes the same archetypal stages of development as human consciousness as a whole. Erich Neumann was one of C. G. Jung's most creative students and a renowned practitioner of analytical psychology in his own right. In this influential book, Neumann shows how the stages begin and end with the symbol of the Uroboros, the tail-eating serpent. The intermediate stages are projected in the universal myths of the World Creation, Great Mother, Separation of the World Parents, Birth of the Hero, Slaying of the Dragon, Rescue of the Captive, and Transformation and Deification of the Hero. Throughout the sequence, the Hero is the evolving ego consciousness.


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10. The Hero with a Thousand Faces

by Joseph Campbell

Since its release in 1949, The Hero with a Thousand Faces has influenced millions of readers by combining the insights of modern psychology with Joseph Campbell’s revolutionary understanding of comparative mythology. In these pages, Campbell outlines the Hero’s Journey, a universal motif of adventure and transformation that runs through virtually all of the world’s mythic traditions. He also explores the Cosmogonic Cycle, the mythic pattern of world creation and destruction.


Meditation

If we continue to observe our mind over some time, we notice that it’s not always distracted and busy. For all of us, there are times when our minds become concentrated, sharp and clear. Perhaps we are doing a cross-word puzzle, playing a video game, reading a mystery story, cleaning the house or cooking. For some, it’s the simple tasks that engage us in ways that allow our mind to be composed and focused; for others, it’s complex problem solving.

Many times, however, the needs of others are what bring us to a state of sharp concentration. Whether it’s because we feel very secure with those we’re with or because we are functioning under conditions of extreme crisis, we find that in this state of intense concentration helpful insights arise on their own, as a function of our one-pointedness. In these experiences we meet a resource of remarkable potential. While we may be frustrated in not having access to it all the time, these experiences lead us to inquire whether there might be something we could do more regularly and formally to quiet the mind, strengthen its concentration, make available the deeper insights that often result, and bring them into closer attunement with the empathy and compassion of our heart. How immeasurably this might enhance our ability to help others.

Traditionally, one such way to begin this investigation is through meditation, systematically observing the mind itself and becoming more familiar with the ways in which we are denied the experience of full concentration. When we do this, with even a simple exercise like focusing our attention on our breath or on a candle flame, we begin to see that there is a continuous stream of thoughts going on all the time. Meditation may be frustrating if we think we can stop this process right away. We can’t. But by penetrating and observing it, we can free ourselves from being carried away by our thoughts.

Our thoughts are always happening. Much like leaves floating down a stream or clouds crossing the sky, they just keep coming. They arise in the form of sensations, feelings, memories, anticipations, and speculations. And they are all constantly calling for attention: Think of me.” “Notice me.” “Attend to me.” As each thought passes, either we attend to it or we don’t. While we can’t stop the thoughts themselves, we can stop our awareness from being snared by each one. If you are standing by a river and a leaf floats by, you have your choice of following the leaf with your eye or keeping your attention fixed in front of you. The leaf floats out of your line of vision. Another leaf enters… and floats by.

But as we stand on the bank of the river and the leaves float by, there is no confusion as to whether or not we are the leaves. Similarly, it turns out that there is a place in our minds from which we can watch our own mental images go by. We aren’t our thoughts any more than we are the leaves.

If we imagine that our mind is like the blue sky, and that across it pass thoughts as clouds, we can get a feel for that part of it which is other than our thoughts. The sky is always present; it contains the clouds and yet is not contained by them. So with our awareness. It is present and encompasses all our thoughts, feelings, and sensations; yet it is not the same as them. To recognize and acknowledge this awareness, with its spacious, peaceful quality, is to find a very useful resource within. We see that we need not identify with each thought just because it happens to occur. We can remain quiet and choose which thought we wish to attend to. And we can remain aware behind all these thoughts, in a state that offers an entirely new level of openness and insight.

Wes Pinkston,

Encinitas Life/Business Coach ❤️

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If you’d like to get started working with me One-on-One click here to schedule a free Life-Coaching Consultation. If you are in the San Diego area, mainly EncinitasCarlsbadDel MarLa Jolla and Solana Beach we can meet in person. For those of you out of state I provide Life Coaching over the phone and via skype. My plans are flexible and more information will be provided during our free consultation.


Are you ready for your Transformation? Click below to schedule your free consultation with Wes


Stay in touch with Wes


Encinitas Life Coach Wes Pinkston: Robyn Bailis Testimonial

"Working with Wes was a wonderful experience. He was patient with me as he taught me about social media and the need for using it in my business. I am 60 years old and have owned my fitness and wellness business since 1997. I desperately needed a business coach as well as someone to teach me how to use social media. He was incredibly knowledgeable and patient throughout the process. From logo design to setting up an instagram strategy for my venture, I felt very comfortable and empowered. If you are look looking for a business coach I give Wes 5 stars.   He is very professional and positive. I feel encouraged, instead of frustrated, with my  business and social media strategy. Thank you Wes.  I encourage you to click below and get your free consultation with Wes.”

 - Robyn Bailis

Founder of Center of Movement and Balance since 1997.

Encinitas, CA  


If you’d like to get started working with me One-on-One click here to schedule a free Life-Coaching Consultation. If you are in the San Diego area, mainly EncinitasCarlsbadDel MarLa Jolla and Solana Beach we can meet in person. For those of you out of state I provide Life Coaching over the phone and via skype. My plans are flexible and more information will be provided during our free consultation.

Wes Pinkston,

Encinitas Life/Business Coach ❤️

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Are you ready for your Transformation? Click below to schedule your free consultation with Wes


Stay in touch with Wes


Your Feelings Are Never Wrong

The mystic is the one who feels that everything that happens is in some way harmonious, is in some way right, is in some way an integral part of the universe. Now when we translate that into the moral sphere, the sphere of human conduct, the equivalent is this…

There are no wrong feelings.

There may be wrong actions, in the sense of actions contrary to the rules of human communication. But the way you feel towards other people, loving, hating, etc., there aren’t any wrong feelings. So to try and force one’s feelings to be other than what they are is absurd, and further more, dishonest. The idea that there are no wrong feelings is an immensely threatening idea to people who are afraid to feel in any case. This is one of the peculiar problems of our culture. That we are terrified of our feelings, because they take off on their own. And we think if we give them any scope, and if we don’t immediately beat them down, they will lead us into all kinds of chaotic and destructive action. It’s so funny, that we, in our Western culture today say that kind of thing, we who do more chaotic and reckless kind of action than anybody ever did.

But if, for a change, we would allow our feelings, and look upon their comings and goings as something as beautiful and as natural and necessary as changes in the weather, the going of night and day, and of the four seasons, we would be at peace with ourselves. Because what is problematic for western man is not so much his struggles with other people, and their needs and their problems, as his struggles with his own feelings. With what he will allow himself to feel and what he won’t allow himself to feel. He is ashamed to feel really profoundly sad, so much so that he could cry. It is not manly to cry. He is ashamed to loathe somebody, because you are not supposed to hate people. He’s ashamed to be so overcome with the beauty of something, whether it be a natural landscape or a member of the opposite sex, that he goes out of his mind with this beauty. Because all that kind of thing is not being in control, not kind of having your hand on the wheel. But it is because we don’t go with that, that we are not in control.

That we try to pretend that our inner life is different. I think this is the most releasing thing that anybody can possibly understand. That your inner feeling is never wrong. That’s to say, what you feel, it is never wrong that you feel that way. It may not be a right guide to what you should do. In other words, if you feel that you hate someone intensely, it isn’t necessarily the right way of dealing with that feeling to go out and harm them. But it is right that you should have the feeling of hating, or of being sad, or frightened, terrified, whatever it is.

When a person comes to himself, he comes to be one with his own feeling. And that is the only way of being in a position to control it. It is in exactly this way that the sailor always keeps the wind in his sails. Whether he wants to sail with the wind or whether he wants to sail against the wind, he always uses the wind, he never denies the wind. Well it’s in exactly that same sense that a person has to keep going with his own feeling. Whether he wants to act as the feeling obviously suggests, or act in a different way, he has to keep the feeling with him, because that’s his own essential self. But when he attempts simply to sail against the wind, he’s lost himself. He’s become just a kind of empty mask, which hasn’t got any real life behind it, all it’s protestations of love and good-will are hollow.

What the mystic primarily feels is the divinity, the glory, of whatever it is. And when we apply that to the moral sphere, what IS, is what one feels genuinely. And this must always be admitted, always allowed. It doesn’t mean that we always are therefore compelled to act upon the basis of what we feel. That is to say, to kill the person we hate. Hatred does not necessarily lead to violence, it is unacknowledged hatred that leads to violence. Honest hatred can be expressed in much simpler ways. But the expression, the recognition, the acceptance of what is honestly felt, is the moral equivalent of the vision that whatever exists is a manifestation of the divine.

Wes Pinkston,

Encinitas, CA.

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If you’d like to get started working with me One-on-One click here to schedule a free Life-Coaching Consultation. If you are in the San Diego area, mainly EncinitasCarlsbadDel MarLa Jolla and Solana Beach we can meet in person. For those of you out of state I provide Life Coaching over the phone and via skype. My plans are flexible and more information will be provided during our free consultation.

Happy Holidays everyone, keep sending me your success stories, I love hearing them.


Are you ready for your Transformation? Click below to schedule your free consultation with Wes


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